now that finals are over, i thought I’ll finally have a chance to get off this emotional roller coaster and have a chance at just being chilled. but no i was wrong. sure i have the burden of worrying about my assignments and exams over but under that i still have the other burdens of wondering what to do. what i want to do with my life and what to do now.
with the absence of my mom, i have more freedom now cause my dad is more of a laid back kinda parent but still I’ll gladly trade in all this freedom for another day with my mom without even needing to think about it. as i pack up my moms stuff that’s around the house, the memories come rushing back and a fresh batch of tears come rolling down my cheeks. but that’s normal i guess, how weird would i be if i didn’t miss her all the time. I’m glad that the memories that come back are always happy memories and never bad ones. it makes me realize how good of a mother she was and how lucky i was to have her.
on a lighter note, i spent my weekend getting the Christmas shopping done and boy after 2 days of walking around congested malls, boy was i exhausted. but at least I’ve bought everyone on my list what i hope is the perfect gift. walking around without a clue as what to get them or what they would like, spending countless days before wondering what to buy only to finally get there and wonder the same thing. but finally i decided and i really hope they like it =) i don’t like buying gifts for other people just for the sake of it. in my opinion its like, if i have to buy someone a gift i might as well put some effort into it and get the perfect gift. i feel like if you put thought into a gift, it shows and people will appreciate it so much more.
after the last 2 days of eating quick barely there dinners, I’m gonna be rewarded with 2 filling dinners. cause tomorrow is a Chinese special day so my aunt is having a dinner party with only means good food for me. and then on Thursday the day before Christmas eve, my god family will be having a dinner too. its their version of a Christmas dinner cause they wont be here during Christmas, cause they’re be in Bali. a place that i would be going to too if my mom hadn’t passed away but its okay. i actually prefer spending my Christmas here at home with my dad. besides I’ve been to Bali enough times over the last 3 years. its not like it changes much anyway.
anyway christmas is in a few days, and even thoguht i dont have much planned, i still love chrismtas and cant wait for it =D
till then merry Christmas!